Super bowl spontaneously breaks out

TAMPA BAY, FL—In what started as a midfield photo opportunity between opposing team captains and ended as a hard-fought 60-minute competition to become the NFL champion, Super Bowl XLIII was suddenly and unexpectedly played Tuesday during media day at Tampa Bay's Raymond Jones Stadium.
Enlarge Image TS Super Bowl R

Newly crowned world champion Arizona emerged victorious over the Steelers 24-21 in a tough impromptu defensive battle.

"Did we just win the Super Bowl?" asked an exhilarated and somewhat confused Kurt Warner, who played only three quarters after spending the game's first 15 minutes answering Deion Sanders' questions about his spiky hair. "And, if so, am I going to Disneyland?"

Super Bowl XLIII was originally scheduled to take place on Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 1.

"I think we just figured, 'Hey, the Cardinals are here, we're here, that weird guy from the Japanese media brought a football for some reason, so why not play the Super Bowl?'" Steelers running back Willie Parker said. "Believe me, both teams just wanted to get it over with, anyway."

"If it was up to me we would have played it last Sunday," added Parker, who never quite found his rhythm in what ended up being the most important game of the season.

According to sources, the game's impetus was reportedly a coincidental midfield meeting between team captains. Hines Ward and Karlos Dansby later confirmed, however, that at no point during the initial encounter did they have any intention of playing the Super Bowl.

After exchanging pleasantries, Steelers inside linebacker James Farrior removed a coin from his pocket and asked Arizona's Reggie Wells to call heads or tails—a move Farrior identified in the postgame conference as nothing more than a joke. However, NFL-appointed lead official Terry McAulay, who had dressed for the day in full referee attire for reasons that still remain unclear, rushed out to the 50-yard line to conduct the toss.

Steelers return man Santonio Holmes, noticing through the viewfinder of his personal camcorder that Cardinals kicker Neil Rackers was setting the ball up on a tee, sprinted to his own five yard line, shouting, "Hey, everybody, I think we're starting the Super Bowl."

"If Santonio is going to receive, we're going to block—it's just that simple," said Pittsburgh's Patrick Bailey, explaining why the Steelers special teams unit decided to rush the field. "I just said to myself, 'Come on. It's about fucking time we started this game.'"

After Holmes was tackled at his own 33 by a hard-hitting Aaron Francisco, Super Bowl XLIII was under way. Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger took the field with his entire offense, head coach Mike Tomlin appeared already wearing his Motorola headset, and offensive coordinator Bruce Arians sprinted up to the press box in an effort to beat the play clock, which alert timekeepers had already started.

"I thought we might quit after the first quarter, but it ended in a 7-7 tie, so we figured we would just keep playing," winning Super Bowl coach Ken Whisenhunt said. "Also, we would get the ball to begin the second half, so continuing play was certainly to our advantage."

Other highlights from Super Bowl XLIII included a pregame flyover by US Airways flight 743 bound for Charlotte; the jubilant Cardinals hoisting up the first thing they could lay their hands on, sportscaster Bob Costas, instead of the Lombardi Trophy; and, because Bruce Springsteen was late for a 3:30 p.m. sound check, a halftime show consisting of various Max Weinberg drumbeats from "Born to Run," "Glory Days," and "Born in the USA."

No fans were in attendance to hold up the pieces of paper that would have formed two giant American flags in the east and west sections of the stadium.

"The game is never as good as people want it to be, anyway," Roethlisberger said. "So maybe it was better that it was played without all the TV cameras and everything."

Though league officials have yet to release a statement confirming whether another game will be played this Sunday, the NFL rulebook clearly states that a contest played between two Super Bowl teams constitutes a Super Bowl.

"No excuses," Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin said. "Sure, we didn't have pads until the second half, we were undermanned because some players had already gone back to the hotel, and Hines didn't have his knee taped properly, which probably led to his career-ending ACL injury. But we all played under the same conditions. Next time we'll just make sure we show up at media day ready to play."

"Damn it," Tomlin added. "It's just now hitting me that we lost the Super Bowl."

miss america 2009

Congratulations Miss Indiana for 2009
Miss America, a necessary staple for Americans or just a shell of a parody of its former glory? I'll tell you the answer in a jiffy. This strange obsession with pageanted beauty girls first started in 1921 but wasnt called miss America until the year after. After that, it has all gone downhill until many people dont see pride in the competition but more feminist outrage at the still chauvinist ironclaw that is still in the countries side. Yes outcry to stop the pageant has been made by people all over including the women that feel that any sex whatsoever is rape regardless of it being consensual or not. Guys never seem to care because they get to see women parage around in bikinis on stage. Woot. First, lets discuss what all goes on at the Miss America pageants and what it takes for one of those crazed plastic smiling ladies that seem to all have odd performance talents.

#1 - talent
This girls always seem to have some ridiculous propensity for a talent. Hardly any of them are worthwhile of course. Im looking at you baton twirlers. Not a single girl in recent memory has gone up on stage to show off how awesome her dishwashing skills are or how well she can make me a sandwich. a-ha faux chauvinistic demoralizations aside, some of them have been quite good like some that sing opera, dance ballet or even play music on crystal glasses. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212346/ The talent portions should be extended I believe so that we can have an american idol like judging of the contestants that makes some of them cry and throw a hissy fit.

#2 - Evening wear
??? Lets look at how women look in dresses. Meh

#3 - Bathing suits
this is where it gets more interesting. guys will watch this part with their girlfriends because its a blank check to check out these (usually) hot women in skimpy bikinis without getting criticized for it by them. Double woot.

#4 - eh
There is some stuff about talking and how you would save the world and plights that cause hawking's paradox type situations. Ok, maybe not that last one but chances are these questions bring about answers that need more of two things: bringing people together/world peace, and more puppies. I say more puppies because who can refuse to scratch a puppies fluffy belly or dote on them for a long time. Much unlike babies http://piyoz.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/top_10_cutest_asian_baby_faces_10.jpg that can become annoying fast, puppies have the power to even change the fate of planets

To my first question, I need to say that its both because everyone watches it for different reasons but it sure can be funny sometimes watching girls act so silly for some strange title that really won't mean much after the next years person is decided.

What else is there to the pageant?
I dont know, nothing else seems to interest me. thats all I got to say about that

doomsday? more like doubloonsday

Doomsday doomsday doomsday. That seems like its going to be a buzzword for the next few years as the last part of the mayan long count calender ends. Many other things that point towards the end are the webbot, edgar cayce, nostradamus, the jewish calender, the i-ching, hopi indians, etc... So what are we supposed to do? All of those predictions say that something will happen but no one can agree on what. Aliens have been visiting us for many years to make sure we didnt blow up the world or something like these

There has not been any word on whether aliens will stand with us in the coming years but one thing has been allegedly claimed that we wont have any alien support in the next few years. Are the aliens rascist? Or do they have other fears?

A cyborg president could be pretty cool, they would at least be good at crunching numbers. It could be that they simply know whats gonna go down whether its a giant meteor, rapture, some guy trying to claim that he has cheaply turned water into gasoline or that alien inboxes were too overflowing with ads for cheap viagra that they couldnt function any longer. Whatever is going to happen, Im going to go hide underground with the crab people until this all blows over. How are you going to do that you ask? I can do that because the earth is hollow of course.

As you can see, the inner earth has been extensively mapped for years and we even have our own sun! I havent been there personally but it is supposed to be quite nice. That is of course if the crab people have not broken the peace treaty... But thats a story for another day

Doubloonsday? that would be sweet. much better than these so many world ending scenarios