miss america 2009

Congratulations Miss Indiana for 2009
Miss America, a necessary staple for Americans or just a shell of a parody of its former glory? I'll tell you the answer in a jiffy. This strange obsession with pageanted beauty girls first started in 1921 but wasnt called miss America until the year after. After that, it has all gone downhill until many people dont see pride in the competition but more feminist outrage at the still chauvinist ironclaw that is still in the countries side. Yes outcry to stop the pageant has been made by people all over including the women that feel that any sex whatsoever is rape regardless of it being consensual or not. Guys never seem to care because they get to see women parage around in bikinis on stage. Woot. First, lets discuss what all goes on at the Miss America pageants and what it takes for one of those crazed plastic smiling ladies that seem to all have odd performance talents.

#1 - talent
This girls always seem to have some ridiculous propensity for a talent. Hardly any of them are worthwhile of course. Im looking at you baton twirlers. Not a single girl in recent memory has gone up on stage to show off how awesome her dishwashing skills are or how well she can make me a sandwich. a-ha faux chauvinistic demoralizations aside, some of them have been quite good like some that sing opera, dance ballet or even play music on crystal glasses. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212346/ The talent portions should be extended I believe so that we can have an american idol like judging of the contestants that makes some of them cry and throw a hissy fit.

#2 - Evening wear
??? Lets look at how women look in dresses. Meh

#3 - Bathing suits
this is where it gets more interesting. guys will watch this part with their girlfriends because its a blank check to check out these (usually) hot women in skimpy bikinis without getting criticized for it by them. Double woot.

#4 - eh
There is some stuff about talking and how you would save the world and plights that cause hawking's paradox type situations. Ok, maybe not that last one but chances are these questions bring about answers that need more of two things: bringing people together/world peace, and more puppies. I say more puppies because who can refuse to scratch a puppies fluffy belly or dote on them for a long time. Much unlike babies http://piyoz.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/top_10_cutest_asian_baby_faces_10.jpg that can become annoying fast, puppies have the power to even change the fate of planets

To my first question, I need to say that its both because everyone watches it for different reasons but it sure can be funny sometimes watching girls act so silly for some strange title that really won't mean much after the next years person is decided.

What else is there to the pageant?
I dont know, nothing else seems to interest me. thats all I got to say about that

doomsday? more like doubloonsday

Doomsday doomsday doomsday. That seems like its going to be a buzzword for the next few years as the last part of the mayan long count calender ends. Many other things that point towards the end are the webbot, edgar cayce, nostradamus, the jewish calender, the i-ching, hopi indians, etc... So what are we supposed to do? All of those predictions say that something will happen but no one can agree on what. Aliens have been visiting us for many years to make sure we didnt blow up the world or something like these

There has not been any word on whether aliens will stand with us in the coming years but one thing has been allegedly claimed that we wont have any alien support in the next few years. Are the aliens rascist? Or do they have other fears?

A cyborg president could be pretty cool, they would at least be good at crunching numbers. It could be that they simply know whats gonna go down whether its a giant meteor, rapture, some guy trying to claim that he has cheaply turned water into gasoline or that alien inboxes were too overflowing with ads for cheap viagra that they couldnt function any longer. Whatever is going to happen, Im going to go hide underground with the crab people until this all blows over. How are you going to do that you ask? I can do that because the earth is hollow of course.

As you can see, the inner earth has been extensively mapped for years and we even have our own sun! I havent been there personally but it is supposed to be quite nice. That is of course if the crab people have not broken the peace treaty... But thats a story for another day

Doubloonsday? that would be sweet. much better than these so many world ending scenarios